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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Nose
Noses
Except
Everyone
Jobs
Need
Facelift
Needs
Facelifts
Brooklyn
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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Better laid than never.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
