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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Always
Never
Adjective
Adjectives
Name
Names
Nice

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
Joan Rivers
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Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers