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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Woman
Mean
Things
Think
Thinking
People
Rebellious
Allow

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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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