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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Mean
Things
Think
Thinking
People
Rebellious
Allow
Woman

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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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