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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Rebellious
Allow
Woman
Mean
Things
Think
Thinking
People
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
