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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Mean
Things
Think
Thinking
People
Rebellious
Allow
Woman

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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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