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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Make
Laugh
Fool
Laughing
Ever

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
Joan Rivers
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
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I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers