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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Make
Laugh
Fool
Laughing
Ever
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Never floss a stranger.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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Better laid than never.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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