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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Truth
Going
Think
Thinking
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
Joan Rivers
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
Joan Rivers
