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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Thinking
Truth
Going
Think
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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