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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Wrong
Runway
Woman
Stays
Something
German
Like
Project
Watching
Projects
Goes
Saying
Heidi

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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Better laid than never.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers