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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
White
Love
Matches
Flag
Flags
Legs
Israel
Blue
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
Joan Rivers
keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
Joan Rivers
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
