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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Flags
Legs
Israel
Blue
White
Love
Matches
Flag

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
Joan Rivers
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers