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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Went
Board
Trying
Boards
Would
Fats
Dress
Red
Dresses
Elizabeth
London
Taylor
Whenever
Passengers
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers