Quote

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Stocked
Trout
Husband
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
Image
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
Image
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
Image
How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
Image
I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
Image
The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
Joan Rivers
Image
Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
Joan Rivers
Image
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
Image
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
Image
What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
Image
When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
Joan Rivers
Image
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
Image
Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
Image
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers