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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Best
Definitely
Going
Effects
Years
Watches
Watch
Team
Special
Emmys
Beauty
Nominated
Year
Makeup

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers