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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Special
Emmys
Beauty
Nominated
Year
Makeup
Best
Definitely
Going
Effects
Years
Watches
Watch
Team

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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Better laid than never.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers