Quote

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Lying
Count
Faces
Attractive
Humans
Baby
Looks
Says
Even
Courses
Work
Course
Way
Anyone
Face
Babies

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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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