Quote

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Looks
Says
Even
Courses
Work
Course
Way
Anyone
Face
Babies
Lying
Count
Faces
Attractive
Humans
Baby

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
Image
I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
Image
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
Image
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
Image
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
Image
Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Image
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
Image
They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
Image
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
Image
I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Joan Rivers
Image
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
Image
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers