Quote

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Even
Courses
Work
Course
Way
Anyone
Face
Babies
Lying
Count
Faces
Attractive
Humans
Baby
Looks
Says

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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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