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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Happy
Funny
Think
Thinking
Life
Perfectly
Particularly
Anyone

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
Joan Rivers
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers