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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
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Funny
Making
Love
Wake
Husband
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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