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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Wake
Husband
Name
Names
Call
Funny
Making
Love
More quotes by Joan Rivers
You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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