Quote

The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Fun
Working
Ark
Towels
Means
Hotels
Mean
Memorable
Long
Hotel
Stealing
Road

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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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