Quote

The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Means
Towels
Mean
Hotels
Long
Memorable
Hotel
Stealing
Road
Fun
Working
Ark

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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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