Quote

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Write
Planning
Hears
Firsts
Series
Heroin
Druggies
Book
Drug
Sarcastic
Announcing
First
Plans
Brand
Announcements
Children
Laughing
Memorable
Russell
Writing
Humor
Brands
Humorists
Books
Comedian
Announced
Funny
Humorous
Dealer

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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Never floss a stranger.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers