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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Sarcastic
Announcing
Book
Drug
Brand
Announcements
First
Plans
Memorable
Russell
Children
Laughing
Humorists
Writing
Humor
Brands
Announced
Books
Comedian
Dealer
Funny
Humorous
Hears
Write
Planning
Heroin
Druggies
Firsts
Series

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers