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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Firsts
Series
Heroin
Druggies
Book
Drug
Sarcastic
Announcing
First
Plans
Brand
Announcements
Children
Laughing
Memorable
Russell
Writing
Humor
Brands
Humorists
Books
Comedian
Announced
Funny
Humorous
Dealer
Write
Planning
Hears

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers