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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Acting
Streep
Actors
Memorable
Next
Rivers
True
Gonna
Would
Plan
Love
Plans
Life
Actor
Like
Serious
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
Joan Rivers
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
Joan Rivers
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
Joan Rivers
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
Joan Rivers
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers