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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Attractive
Child
Girl
Scouts
Use
Tent
Didn
Tents
Used
Uniform
Children
Uniforms
Memorable
More quotes by Joan Rivers
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Can we talk?
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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