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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Blink
Jokes
Women
Enough
Time
Foreplay
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
Joan Rivers
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers