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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Foreplay
Blink
Jokes
Women
Enough
Time

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Joan Rivers
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
Joan Rivers
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Joan Rivers
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers