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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Getting
Toms
Look
Pulled
Looks
Dressed
Shade
Jokes
Window
Looked
Took
Peeping

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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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Never floss a stranger.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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Better laid than never.
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