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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Single
Call
Speak
Memorable
Thing
Pick
Every
Picks
Jokes
Daughter
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More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Can we talk?
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
Joan Rivers