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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Call
Speak
Memorable
Thing
Pick
Every
Picks
Jokes
Daughter
Close
Single

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
Joan Rivers
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
Joan Rivers
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
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Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers