Quote

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Plastic
Gave
Asked
Went
Lobotomy
Woman
Derek
Make
Surgeon
Like
Surgeons
Surgery

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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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