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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Tucked
Inns
Holiday
Fashion
Face
Faces
Times

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers