Quote

I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Real
Would
Lisa
Underwear
Breasts
Wearing
Wouldn
Fashion

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
Joan Rivers
Image
You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
Image
If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
Image
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
Image
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
Image
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
Image
How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
Image
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
Image
I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
Joan Rivers
Image
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
Image
Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
Image
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
Image
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
Image
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Joan Rivers
Image
Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers