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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Fashion
Real
Would
Lisa
Underwear
Breasts
Wearing
Wouldn

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
Joan Rivers