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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Grandson
Fund
Mad
College
Fashion
Going
Squandered
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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