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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Birth
Parents
Parent
Heard
Cousin
Ever
Parenting
Like
Motherhood
Hated
Died

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers