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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Parent
Parenting
Motherhood
Wheels
Memory
Watching
Stroller
Childhood
Strollers
Parents
Loosen
Memories
Earliest

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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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