Quote

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Makes
Cake
Memorable
Cooks
Aging
Husband
Laughing
Hooker
Wife
Delicious
Woman
Cook

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
Image
As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
Image
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
Image
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
Image
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Image
They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
Image
I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
Image
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
Image
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
Image
Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
Joan Rivers
Image
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
Image
Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
Image
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
Image
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers