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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Firsts
Aging
First
Younger
Years
Dog
Says
Study
Makes
Menopause
Two
Owning
Thought
Rescue

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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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