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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
First
Younger
Years
Dog
Says
Study
Makes
Menopause
Two
Owning
Thought
Rescue
Firsts
Aging

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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Can we talk?
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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