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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Overcoming
Mountain
Age
Overcome
Aging

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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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Can we talk?
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Better laid than never.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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