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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Mother
Transvestite
Transvestites
Wardrobe
Double
Marry
Dating
Mom
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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Can we talk?
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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