Quote

You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Age
Wrapped
Feel
Underwear
Feels
Automatically
Memorable
Sexy
Older
Gift
Went

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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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Never floss a stranger.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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