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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Witty
Husband
Trust
Name
Names
Funny
Much
Adore
Life
Dating
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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Better laid than never.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
Every television show you go on is a choice.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
