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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Life
Dating
Witty
Husband
Trust
Name
Names
Funny
Much
Adore

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Rivers
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
Joan Rivers
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers