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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Thing
Happiest
Stage

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers