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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Happiest
Stage
Thing

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Joan Rivers
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I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers