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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Happiest
Stage
Thing

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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Never floss a stranger.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
Joan Rivers