Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Sarah
Take
More quotes by Joan Rivers
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
Joan Rivers
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers