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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Adopts
Think
Celebrity
Thinking
Third
World
Thirds
Fool
Child
Country
Children

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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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Never floss a stranger.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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