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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
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Adopts
Thinking
Celebrity
World
Third
Thirds
Fool
Child
Country
Children

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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
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I love the way my life has fallen into place.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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