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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Thirds
Fool
Child
Country
Children
Think
Adopts
Thinking
Celebrity
World
Third

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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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Better laid than never.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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