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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Shows
Every
Terrified
Lived
Stage
Show

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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers